The Disney Princess Thing

OK fellow moms. I know I am probably treading on sacred territory here, but it's worth a thoughtful discussion. Walking through the toy aisles at Target today with my 2-year-old daughter, she immediately gravitated to several different types of toys. 1) Babies- anything to do with babies 2) Horses and 3) The Disney Princess section which, as we all know, occupies quite a bit of square footage in most stores.

With Christmas looming, I am all for the baby dolls, the play kitchen, the horses, but I am definitely uncomfortable pushing, encouraging or even allowing the Disney Princesses at such a young age. Why? It's not the dresses, the tiaras, or anything based on beauty or body-image concerns. I, the hair bow maker, clearly appreciate fashion, accessories, and dressing up at all ages, mainly as a form of creativity and self-expression.

No. My problem with the Disney Princesses is the focus on the Prince. All of the fashion, beauty, and general princess-ing around have to do with "getting the man." (In my opinion, Cinderella and The Little Mermaid are the worst offenders.) I will agree that in recent years Disney has made an effort to have strong, independent types as the female "lead," and yet, there is always a man lurking. Now, I haven't seen Brave yet, but from the previews and what I've read this might be the one movie that makes it to my strict approved-for-Audrey list. I heartily appreciate the idea of a "romance-free" movie for young girls. But what do you do with the rest of the bunch? They are making room on the shelf for Merida, but Snow White and the rest of the gang aren't going anywhere. I, myself, LOVED all the Disney movies- but I probably didn't begin watching them until at least midway through elementary school. My little girl is only 2, but I see the lure of these beautiful dolls and their collective stories.

Here is what one article said of romance-free Brave and the "Princess" franchise

Still, the princesses share plenty of archetypal DNA, which includes a propensity for falling in love. The franchise stresses the romantic elements throughout its promotional material; its promotional material states that a young fan of the line “dreams of a place where clothes are spun of silk and gold, where balls are held in her honor and where princes fall in love at first sight.”
It’s a rich fantasy, and a lucrative one, as well. The Disney Princesses are emblazoned on clothing, bedding, dolls, straight-to-DVD films, MP3 players, theme park attractions and a laundry list of other brandable consumer products, over 25,000 in all. The line, as of the middle of last year, had brought in over $4 billion in sales.
The Princess characters have stood the test of time, aided by liberal sprinklings of Disney’s proprietary blend of nostalgia, fantasy wish-fulfillment and marketing know-how.
And, it should be said, romance and strong female characters are certainly not mutually exclusive; many young girls love Princesses and grow up to be strong, independent adults, too. But eliminating the Prince Charming element is still read as a statement, consciously or not, about the kind of role models and aspirational figures that can be made available to young girls from the start.
"I don't think that it ruins your life or anything, a bunch of really classically pretty little girls who has the one awesome thing that happens in their lives be that they get saved by a dude and end up kissing him and marrying him," Dodai Stewart, an editor for Jezebel, tells THR, "But when you see it over and over, it becomes a very narrow vision of what a heroine is. And so, I do think that it's really cool to have this kind of like -- I don't even want to call it an alternative, I just think it's exciting to have a different heroine."

And here's where my personal experience kicks in. I happen to have a rather dashing 7-year-old who in PRE-SCHOOL had girls "liking" him and wanting to "marry" him. In Kindergarten it became much, much worse. In the time honored tradition of school yards everywhere, he had girls chasing him and his buddies all over the playground. I know that's normal and I remember chasing boys at that age too. However, in the time I spent in his classroom, I noticed that there were several girls who had a (what shall I call it?) a knowingness and maturity to them that, frankly, made me uncomfortable. And it made Brady uncomfortable too. While he liked and was flattered by the attention in many respects, we actually had to have a talk with the teacher about one little girl in particular who came on so strongly that it gave Brady considerable anxiety. What I'd like to teach my daughter is that boys are our friends and playmates, but boyfriends, romance and relationships are for much, much, much later. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't want my daughter being concerned with "finding a Prince" at the ripe old age of 5. Let's play dress-up, let's get the tiaras, let's get dolled up, but let's not go any deeper than that.

My belief is that if you think very young children are missing the message of the "romance" present in the Disney movies (or anywhere else) then you are mistaken. I know that girls mature faster than boys, and I'm not saying I'd never allow my daughter to get into the Princess thing. I'd just like to delay it by like 3-5 years. And yet, outside of Homeschooling or going "off the grid," how do you do that when it's everywhere?

I've felt the same way about many of the cartoons/characters my boys have shown interest in. Spiderman? I remember my older brother being totally into Spiderman when he was in the 5th grade, but now Spiderman is marketed towards boys as young as 2 and 3. I'm sorry, but the storyline of Spiderman isn't appropriate for toddlers. The line we've drawn on some things is that they can have the "toys" but we don't watch the cartoon. That works for awhile, but it does not halt the incessant pull of the media on my kids' impressionable young minds. So, I'm asking for thoughts. Am I over-reacting? Am I imagining this? How do other moms handle the Princess issue?