34 Things

My friend Jolene gave me the cool idea that on your birthday you should write a list of "truths," lessons learned, or good advice equaling the number of years you are. Here goes!

1. Be thankful for your health. Cliche, but true. 
2. Don't take yourself too seriously. If you do it will drive the people around you nuts. 
3. Try to learn to cook intuitively (e.g. without measuring cups and spoons, using what you have). It will save you time and increase your confidence in the kitchen.
4. Spend time one-on-one with your kids. They are different (and usually a lot sweeter) when you give them individual attention. 
5. If you have to leave your church, try to do it as gracefully as possible. Temper honesty with love and respect. 
6. Don't fear change. Fear not changing.
7. Take lots of pictures, especially of your third child. They will resent you later in life if you don't. 
8. Wear perfume. Adopt a signature scent.
9. Unless you are a man. No cologne. Just a nice-smelling aftershave or deodorant will do. Disregard all Axe commercials. 
10. Read. Read. Read. 
11. Be a server in a restaurant. It will teach you everything you need to know about life.
12. Plan to care for your parents later in life. (Do unto others...)
13. When you are grieving or going through a hard time, try not to expect too much of the people around you. No one can know what mood you are in at every given moment. 
14. When you see others grieving or going through a hard time, be a person who takes a step forward rather than a person who takes a step back.  
15. Develop an impressive vocabulary. Throw out big words every now and then, just for the heck of it.
16. Dance with your family in the kitchen while you clean up from dinner. 
17. When you choose a career path, try to pick something that will come in handy if society ever has to rebuild itself after an event such as a mysterious contagion or zombie apocalypse. 
18. Tell your children daily how proud you are to be their mom (or dad).
19. Never date someone who would limit your selection of footwear.
20. When someone tries really, really hard to convince you of something, there's a good chance they are needing reassurance for their own beliefs. 
21. Don't write people off because they have different religious or political views than you. You never know what you can learn from someone. 
22. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
23. Stop comparing your marriage to other marriages.
24. Give people the benefit of the doubt. 
25. Get over the way your voice sounds in recordings or on the answering machine. Chances are, you have made it through life without anyone thinking you sound like an idiot (unless, of course, what you are saying is idiotic).
26. Take bubble baths.
27. Don't worry about your kids' grades as much as you worry about them developing a good work ethic. 
28. Embrace technology. Roll with the times, people. 
29. Buy quality shoes and quality mattresses. 
30. It's normal to get out of bed in the middle of the night and make sure your kids are still breathing. 
31. When you're on a family vacation, you should sit around and decide what each of your names would be in an alternate universe. The catch? You can't choose your own name (right, Del?).
32. It's true that babies don't come with instruction books, but as a parent there are plenty of resources available to you. Don't be a person who knows more about operating your iphone than the development of your children. 
33. The stupider you feel the better it looks (advice for getting over your inhibitions).
34. Use semicolons; elegant punctuation never goes out of style.