My Love Story

In the midst of the cleaning/organizational machine that I've been this month, I've devoted very little time to thinking about Valentine's Day. Oh wait? February is over? Well, in any case, my husband went on a ski trip for a few days last week and, it seems, absence does make the heart grow fonder. I realized how much I depend on him -- not only for help with the kids (which was sorely missed) but also for his bad puns, reprimands for not turning off the outside lights, and being forced to watch NBA games (although technically I sit in the room and read my Kindle while he watches NBA-- I put the book down only for IU basketball).

Our love story goes back 13 years almost exactly. We started to date right before Valentine's Day, 2000. We were both living in Anderson, me in my junior year of college at Anderson University, him having graduated but staying on as an assistant baseball coach. He was friends with my older brother, Jeff, and had lived with him in a house off-campus, which is where I had first met him while visiting my brother.

Early on in my junior year, I went out to BW3's with my brother, and two guys I knew as "Sim" and "Hoob." I don't even think I knew "Hoob's" first name was Brent until that night. We had a fun time and later went back to Hoob's apartment to watch some movie. He had a white cat who sat on my lap all through the movie and shed chunks of white hair all over the black sweater I had BORROWED from my roommate.

We had a few other run-ins in and around campus. He gave my car a jump once when it died in the parking lot as my girlfriend and I were getting ready to leave on a shopping expedition. Plus sometimes I ran into him in the cafeteria while he showed baseball recruits around. Looking back I knew there was a spark when I said hello in the cafeteria on one of those run-ins and placed a hand on his arm. I felt a little zing and remember thinking, WOW, nice arms! However, it took me awhile to see him as someone date-able. But then my brother moved to Hawaii and things started to change a little bit. In short, he became a lot...friendlier.

I won't go into the big, long debate over who approached who at a certain basketball game. But the story ended with him asking me to take care of his cat while he was out of town that weekend. I said yes, and that was his "in."

He started calling, we started talking, I wasn't sure at first if he was being a surrogate big brother or if it was something more. Brent was a great recruiter for the baseball team, and I got the full effect of his subtle but very persuasive "recruiting style." Let me say, at this point in my dating life, I had just gotten out of a very (short-lived) relationship which ended with me getting thrown-up on, both literally and figuratively. When you go to a Christian, liberal arts college like AU you have a lot of earnest Christian Ministries types but there's also a party-hearty crowd that would fit right in at a big state university. I often say that I felt like I was too good for the bad guys and too bad for the good guys. Yet somehow Brent and I were at the same place in life, with (eerily) similar backgrounds and values. It didn't take me long at all to fall in love, and it didn't take much longer than that to know that he was the one. My roommate Brianna told me she knew I was in love when I "stopped bitching about whose turn it was to buy toilet paper." :)

However, to the chagrin of feminists everywhere, I took "The Rules" dating advice and wouldn't tell him I loved him until after he told me. While I was impatiently waiting for him to come to this realization and profess his undying love for me, I accompanied him to the baseball field one evening to change the sprinklers (moving around sprinklers is such a part of this guy's identity I'm not sure he'd want underground sprinkling even if we could afford it). So we sat quietly on the bleachers watching the sprinklers for a few minutes when it started to softly rain (cue ambiance!) and then he said, "Carmen, can I tell you something?" LONG PAUSE (my heart was racing! I was SURE this was the moment I had been waiting for!) And then he said it..."I think about you probably every second of the day."

Now, if you're thinking I was disappointed I didn't get an "I love you," you'd be WRONG. That was definitely the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. I got my "I love you" not too long after that anyway. From that point on we were pretty inseparable. And probably nauseating to those around us. We were engaged the following Thanksgiving and married the next June.

It hasn't always been roses. He's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But we make a good team. We've been good for each other and we complement each other, I like to think. He's goofy when I'm serious, I'm goal-oriented when he's scattered. He is, hands down, the best father I could have ever hoped for for my children. I'm a lucky girl. After 12 1/2 years, one baby girl tragically stillborn, one of our parents succumbing to cancer, a diagnosis of a weird genetic disorder, and Lyme Disease, he's still the one I want to share my good and bad times with. We have three beautiful, healthy children, family and friends that love us, and a faith that has sustained us through it all. Every couple has a love story. I think everyone should take a few minutes and write it down. What's yours?