Guns, Porn & Sex Offenders

Dear Parents of my Childrens' Friends,
I am learning to be assertive about certain things when it comes to my kids' safety, even at risk of offending you. The title of this post should give you some indication of what I'm concerned about. It's hard to come out and ask you about these things, and yet I am compelled to, because, as much as I might like you, I like my kids a whole lot more. And I would venture to say you feel the same about me.

Now that we have that settled, let's get down to business. Do you have guns in your house? And, if so, are they kept unloaded and locked away? OUT OF SIGHT? What about porn? No, I'm not trying to pry into your personal lives (OK, maybe I am) but you need to be aware that I'm not OK with my kid playing at a house with stacks of back issues of Playboy in the basement (true story from my husband's childhood growing up in a "nice" neighborhood). Do you have parental controls on your cable? On your computer? On their ipads? I'd appreciate knowing what TV shows/channels my kids might be watching as well. Think I don't need to worry about this stuff yet? Think again.

And who, exactly, is coming in and out of your house? Not that I don't want to assume the best about people, but, hey, I watch the news. Before I say "yes" to a birthday party or a sleepover, I want to know a few things that would be helpful if you put on the invitation. Who will be there? Whose house is this? Are parents welcome to stay? What exactly will you be doing? Will the kids be supervised at all times? You might have a laissez faire attitude toward parenting, but many of us do not. Please wait until I'm gone to roll your eyes.

Even though it's not the highest concern of mine right now, I'm wondering about your alcohol situation. Do you have any in the house? Where is it kept? How do you monitor its use (and by whom?). In case there was any doubt at this point, I'm not one of those parents who think it's safer to let their kids drink alcohol as long as they're at my house. And I'm going to be less than willing to let our kids hang out in the future if you are. Just sayin'. Will you be drinking in front of my child? I'd prefer that you not, to be frank. What about your prescription drugs? And, obviously, drugs of the non-prescription variety?

These are all things I'm learning to be comfortable asking. Up to this point, I haven't been because my children have been young enough that they haven't been going a whole lot of places without me. But now they are getting older, these issues are coming up, and I'm forced to (gulp) parent. I'm delighted to share ALL my answers to these questions with you. In fact, I'm going to volunteer this information and hope you will take the not-so-subtle-hint that I want to know what your answers are too. I've been inspired by moms with older kids who aren't afraid to ask these types of questions. Being a mom isn't a popularity contest, and as much as I want my kids to have a vast array of friends, their safety and well-being HAS to be my first priority. No, I can't protect them from any and all negative influences, situations, etc. But I have to try, cause that's my job.